Monday, January 01, 2007

a year in review?

should i do a review of this year? i sort of wish i could have a do-over. started the year by starting marriage counselling. then selling our house and buying a cheaper one to try and resolve some finance issues. then getting a divorce. then moving into an apartment.

but maybe i should do a different review. this year my anxiety and depression hit me in ways i didn't know how to handle. i suppose that's the nature of it. as my anxiety grew, so did our marriage problems. but in the 3+ months now since i found out i was getting a divorce, things have happened to suggest that i will be okay. i found out where rock bottom is. and i survived. i found out that i have a support network, despite some of them not being local. i found out that the fog sometimes lifts. sometimes i catch a glimpse of a me that isn't scared of everything. a me that isn't frozen in fear and indecision. that she's in here, somewhere.

and, i mean, despite *everything*, i've experienced some of life's greatest joys this year, this second year of my daughter's life. coming up on her second birthday, i can only think of everything she's learned and become. of who she's become. she went from a baby to a talkative, exhuberant, vivacious, sensitive, considerate little girl. every day with her is such a gift. and i need to remember to be grateful.

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